The Train Series 3: Time Alone

First published on August 24, 2016

My lovely girlfriend is away at the moment, on business in Singapore. Since she left I've been reflecting on two things which are stark: that I miss her a lot. She isn't there when I wake up in the morning. She isn't there to discuss the day with me (except in intermittent Skype calls at strange times when we overlap in being awake and available). She isn't there to eat with, to watch TV with, to do all those things that make up our life together. And she isn't there to give me the energy that she does, and the love that she does.

And yet the other is that I like time by myself. I get a lot done, both in work and home life. But there is something more than that. I need time by myself. It allows all the parts of me to settle back to where they would naturally be. It is restful.

I enjoy the fact that my train has lots of other people on it, but I also like turning my music up and drifting away.

Working with colleagues is a joy, but on my days working on my own business, I feel a sense of settling in my being which I don't get from someone else's aims, objectives and projects.

My life would be an immeasurably poorer place without Emma. But I am a better man, for her and for me, with that rest and that settling that only comes from time alone.