Everything Starts With a Decision. So Decide.

First published on August 4, 2017

It always, always starts with a decision. Everything we do starts with a decision. I've been reading a lot of Steven Pressfield recently. He talks about how, to beat Resistance and achieve our dreams, to follow our calling, we need to turn pro. How do we turn pro? Well it starts by deciding to do it. 

My friend Mike told me a story. Someone asked, 'How do you stay married for so long?' The answer? 'Well, for a start you decide to.'

I've written before about how lack of hope comes from a lack of freedom, and that by opening the door to a sense of possibilities, of freedom, of agency, somehow people's hope returns, and then anything can happen. 

One of the reasons that coaching is powerful is essentially that your coach will ask you questions, and expect answers. If you decide to answer, then you do. And when you do, then you realise that it's in your power to decide. To make a decision. To make a choice. If you come to the end of the session, then usually there will be a clear path forward, and you will have decided it. And then you see: you can choose to change things. 

Of course after that, you have to decide to follow that plan. Decide to keep your word. Decide to change things. You may have to decide more than once. You may have to decide every day. But it's your choice: you decide. 

And I'm not being silly here, it really does all start with a decision. Everything, from the way we feel to our route to work, is a decision. Simple. But this doesn't make it easy. Some of these decisions are the hardest ones we will ever make. To leave a relationship. To quit a job. To tell family member how they have hurt you. To say, you're right. To say, I'm sorry. 

Because even those of us faced with the tricks of a mortal body in this plentiful age, who fall victim to the traps of addiction. Even there, people can decide. Because people do quit. And that starts with a decision. To say, that's enough. 

The challenge then, is to see the decision for what it is. Something we have control over. Something we can decide. To understand that we are the main character in our story. We are not pulled by the web of ages along destinies already plotted. We are not trapped in the web of history, passed down by our parents through their own neuroses, fears and struggles. We are not victims, of the man, of the government, of the 1%. We are people. We are heroes. 

We are the ones who say, in the face of our darkest times, I decide to move forward. I decide to change my life. I decide I will be happy one day. I decide I will be happy today. 

We are the ones who decide our children will have it better than us, and work like a demon to make it happen. 

We are the ones who decide to love, not criticise, when the cowards in the crowd do otherwise. 

We are the leaders, in our selves and in our lives. 

We are the ones who cry when we feel sad. Who laugh with joy when we feel joy. Who love when we feel love. 

We are human.

We decide.