Feeling the Pressure? Look Directly At It

First published on October 26, 2016

I've been feeling some pressure lately, and the universe has been sending me messages about how to deal with it.

The pressure doesn't come from a place which is all bad - moving house, weekends full with fun things, and a lot of work which is outside my comfort zone. But the feeling of pressure and stress is still anything but pleasant.

The first sign from the universe came via a coaching client, who in our work has several times mentioned the challenges of negative thoughts. The second was last night during a call on the excellent Coaches Rising Summit, with coach and author Jamie Smart. I've been familiar with Jamie's work for a couple of years, and to give you a brief summary, his work is based on the premise that we think our emotions are telling us about things outside of us: things that have happened, things that will happen, things that could happen, our bank balance, our relationships, our to do list. In fact, he says, all our emotions ever tell us about are the thoughts we are having in the moment.

This is quite a revolutionary idea, and is very difficult for some people to get their heads around. And when I say some people, I include me! It's not that I disagree with Jamie's ideas, it's just that agreement doesn't always translate into the kind of embodied knowing that I imagine would release the emotions that aren't helpful to me.

Last night, I asked him a question on the call, and what I really took away from his answer was that, when you find yourself overwhelmed, preoccupied or emotionally shaken by something, you need to look directly at the knowledge that you have about the situation: that all this feeling is about is thought taking form in the moment.

Most of us are usually - except in those rare times when we have been significantly triggered or are responding to a really traumatic event - aware that the problems we are anxious about aren't as bad as we think they are. That it seems worse late a night. That we will work it out, because, well, we always have up to this point. But that doesn't necessarily relieve the stress.

So here's my suggestion. Next time you're in that situation, look directly at your knowledge. Use Jamie's ideas if that helps, or one of mine, or someone else's. Look directly at that knowledge, and see if the feelings pass.

I haven't tried it yet, but I'm looking forward to testing it soon.