The Four Second Hug

First published on May 19, 2017

Our physical condition plays a huge part in our lives, and we need to remember that. I'm unwell at the moment, and it has shaken my routine. So much so, that I only remembered that this is my last trip into Central London of the week - and so my last opportunity to write a post - part way into my journey. 

I have a heavy head cold. Nothing serious. I'm a man, so it has the added man flu element - something I can only describe to those who don't get it as an evolutionary instinct of extreme frustration that I don't work properly. I imagine that in past ages when people's - and particular men's - livelihoods depended so much more on physical condition that there was so much value in this. Don't get ill!, the evolutionary instinct shouts, and Don't get injured! 

But this is still important today, when my physical condition only plays - in theory at least - some part in my livelihood. Those who exercise regularly will know the effect of this afterwards. And not just the physical effect: the psychological and emotional effects of this exercise - or of the man flu frustration - hold sway across our lives. 

I saw John Gray speak last week, famous for his seminal and amazing book, Men are from Mars, Women Are From Venus (if you haven't read it, you really should). The message from his hilarious and meandering talk was this: our hormones play a huge part in our relationships. This is just a fact. And there are many and myriad ways of managing this, and helping those we love reap the benefits of the hormone balances that are most advantageous to their happiness, growth and fulfilment. 

Sometimes I think we forget that. We think that if we just power through our tiredness or stress we will be ok. We might, but we might not, and who knows what happens to us in the meantime as we push and push and push. 

So look after yourself. Find the ways to give yourself, physiologically and emotionally, what you need. And give it to those around you. You can, according to Dr Gray, start with a hug. Four seconds long, for someone you care about. Four a day of these could transform the life of the woman you love. 

And if we can do that for others, what might we also be able to do for ourselves?