Build A Compass For The Truth

First published on May 6, 2020

There's an old saying, possibly from the Talmud: we see the world not as it is, but as we are.

Steven Covey, author of the incredibly famous Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (which I haven't read) apparently used to use this in his work, but takes it further: ‘We see the world, not as it is, but as we are – or, as we are conditioned to see it. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms.’ 

But what I have noticed is that it isn't quite as singularly causal as Covey seems to put it. In fact, not only - when we speak - do we describe ourselves, our perceptions and our paradigms; we also - when we speak - create ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms.

Nowhere has this been as clear for me than by introducing a commitment to telling the truth; or, at least, to not lying. This might sound like a small thing, but I'll never forget, about two years ago, when a prospective client told me he had been reading 12 Rules For Life by Jordan Peterson, and had read about Rule 8 ('Tell the truth-or, at least, don't lie') and begun to notice all the times he told small lies in his life.

Later, I took Rule 8 on as a challenge, and begun to feel the difference it made. It wasn't always easy, but the shift was profound. To tell the truth, or at least to not lie, you have to consider the truth. Making a commitment to avoid lying is an exercise in developing our compass for what is true for us, and thefore for creating a reality related to truth, not to lies and confusions. The alternative, you see, is not simply that we don't develop the compass, it is that we speak into reality perceptions, paradigms and a self which are contradictory, confused and untrue.

In the present moment, in the face of incredible uncertainty, the truth is hard to come by on a grand scale: we don't know who to trust. Everyone from government briefings to academics to journalists have conflicting and confusing messages and motives. Numbers quoted as being comparable in fact come from incredibly different statistical models; assumptions may be being made for honourable reasons but they may not be true; instinctual political views being played out by people who haven't done the work to understand where those instincts come from.

It affected me quite significantly when Daniel Schmachtenberger pointed out in (I think) this video, that it is extraordinary how many strong views are held on an issue like climate science given how few people have read the primary data. Mostly, we outsource what we believe on a complex issue to others... who in turn haven't read the primary data and are outsourcing it to others who, if we are lucky, HAVE read the primary data. But mostly who in turn are outsourcing the truth to thers. How can we know the truth - at least, how can we be sure - when we are so far from what matters?

These macro issues are hard to affect, but our micro issues aren't. Don't create a life where the truth doesn't matter. Create one where, each day, because you commit to not lying, you get better at discerning what is true.

Don't create a business where your people can't tell the truth for fear of some implied discriminiation or rule; create one where they can live into the truth and solidity of their life every day. It will help you in the long term.

Don't create a family where people's - especially children's - perceptions of reality are questioned or shattered or destroyed. Create one where they are honoured, so that they can develop and focus in on that magical place: seeing what really is.

That, in complexity, is the game. To get out of judgment, stop seeing things as they could or should be - or as you pretend they are, to yourself, or your boss, or your child - and start seeing them, as best you can, as they are.