Choose Courage: You Will Never Be The Same Again
First published on March 4, 2020
Pause.
Hesitate.
Wait.
Take the leap.
That, between 'wait' and 'take the leap' is the moment of courage. That is where the magic happens. After that, from the moment you take the leap onwards, nothing will ever be the same. Least of all, you. You will be different.
This is the path of courage.
Dan Sullivan puts this well - he talks about people wanting confidence, when what they actually need is courage. You see, confidence, as I've written before, is what happens when you have an embodied belief in your ability to create the things you want to create. And that - the embodied belief - is always a result of action. If you wait for it, thinking of it as the requirement before you take action, then you will be waiting a long time.
Courage, then, is in that moment just before - even as - you take the leap.
And how do we define courage? Well, David Gemmell defines it as acting in the face of fear. Feeling the fear, knowing you are afraid, and taking the leap.
Once you feel the fear and take the leap anyway - no matter how small or large that leap is - you will never be the same again. You return, different. You have grown, you have changed.
But, as Gemmell also says, the coward dies a small death every day. The coward, you see, is ruled by fear, while the hero rides it like a wild stallion.
Because we don't all get happy endings. It is possible that gradually, chased by fear and anxiety, we slip backwards further and further, as the circles of our lives, the circles of what we are capable of, get smaller and smaller. A smaller series of places we are willing to go or people we are willing to speak to. A smaller range of experiences we are willing to try.
Over time, if we practise courage, then something does begin to shift for us. We develop our confidence in our ability to practise courage. If we practise courage, we change, we are different. So that we come to see ourselves differently, as someone who can do things that they don't know how to do. Someone for whom things will probably turn out ok. Someone resourceful. But, even then, still we change.
I went away for three days of walking, by myself, last week. It was a challenge from my friend Leo, who I met on a men's retreat last autumn. Giving each other challenges on the final day, Leo said, 'Go away somewhere beautiful, by yourself.'
As he said it, it landed for me. I knew it was the right thing to do. So I did. I got anxious, scared before I went. But I kept in action, booking accomodation and buying a couple of things I needed. I got anxious in the buildup. Even on the day. But I kept on taking the steps. And now I am home, and I am different. Changed, forever. And it didn't all go well. I got lost within the first fifteen minutes of leaving the station. I had blisters and (possibly) a bruised rib by the end. And this wasn't in the wilderness, this was in the incredibly well sign-posted Peak District. I got impossibly wet on my final day, despite preparations.
But I am different now, changed forever. I am bigger, and I can feel that. I have done something I had never done before, and no one will ever be able to take that away from me. It won't be impressive to some people, but for me it was a step, a leap, an act of courage.
That is one example, but the opportunities for these moments are all around us, and they are every day.
Take these opportunities. Stand in the fear - it lets you know you are alive - and then take the leap.
Each day, whether that is trying something new, offering an opinion, speaking up differently, sharing your writing, showing your love, receiving love. Whatever it is, take the leap.
Each time you feel the fear, however small, choose courage. Choose to act in the face of fear, and ride it like a wild stallion.
You will never be the same again.