In Some Ways, There Is Really No More Meaningful Success To Notice as the Year Comes to an End Than That You Are a Little More You, Now, Than You Were

First published on December 10, 2021

The act of returning to the start allows us to notice what has changed. I'm on a train from Clapham Junction to Waterloo, due to meet a former colleague near the office we shared in 2016. While I was working there a coaching conversation with my coach spawned an experiment which spawned a writing practice which spawned a series of books, the first of which I launched this week. Back on this train it's hard not to be drawn to memories of the commute, the experiment, the practice. 

And this afternoon, I came together with colleagues from across the world six months after the mastermind we took part in, led by Robert Holden, ended. Back in that environment, it's hard not to remember who you were when you first arrived, what the elements were that made it a powerful experience. What you have remembered, and what you have forgotten.

It's important to remember, and it's important to be there anew: to not slip into the old roles we may have held in those situations at those last times we were there.

When I think about the jobs I had five or six years ago and the person I was, when I think about any environment that I used to go in before the last few years, which have been transformational for me, I sometimes need to remind myself that I'm someone different now. I have to pay more attention in those places and relationships that I regularly inhabited as a slightly lost 30-odd-year-old, anxious about his place in the world, fearful of so much, intimidated by those who had found their place, particularly the ones who had found a place that I secretly - sometimes even secretly from myself - coveted. 

If I don't pay more attention, it's too easy to be that slightly lost 30-odd-year-old again. 

On some levels, there is no problem with being that old version of me. And on others, I'm very aware that some of those groups and places might value the person I've become more than the old Robbie they knew.

And I'm also aware that much as I would rather my daughter learn from what I say, she will learn from what I do. And so, for me and for her and for the people I'm with, it feels important to be the me of today, not slip into a role of the me of yesterday. 

As we move into the Christmas season in the UK, so many people will be returning to family systems that may pull them towards an old version of themselves. 

It's probably wise not to transform completely straight away, to drop bombs into those systems. But it's probably also wise not to let them take you back into the past completely. 

Set the intention, instead, to be the bigger, wiser version of you that you are today. To let the people you are with see the you who you are today, the one you've been transforming into, the one you've been becoming. 

In some ways, there is really no more meaningful success to notice as the year comes to an end than that you are a little more you, now, than you were twelve months ago.