Making Things Can Be Hard. But What, Really, is the Choice? To Not Make Something?

First published on June 23, 2021

AAARRRGGH. It's hard to write sometimes. It's hard to have a creative practice. It's HARD to make things and put them in the world. It's hard to TALK about it, it's hard to DO it. It's hard to THINK about it.

Bah.

That's what it feels like to be me today.

Last week, I was talking to my friend Nicole about publishing the first three years of these articles as a book (a series of books, actually - and for those who have heard me talking about this before, IT'S ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN NOW). What I noticed was, talking about it sapped my energy, felt hard. Even though I was excited about it.

I was speaking about some of this same stuff with my coach today. And again, I know this is the right thing for me to do. I know the books have to come out soon, and yet it felt hard to talk about it.

Then, I wanted to explain my practice to a friend who was asking about it. And so I skimmed through the first three years of these articles, looking for one where I explain it. There must be one where I explain it... but there wasn't. And, as I skimmed through, here, broadly speaking, is what I felt: 'These pieces are really, incredibly, decidedly, completely mediocre.'

Now I know that's not true. Well, actually, in some cases it is true. But that, really, is the lesson of the 12-minute practice: I don't get to decide what's good. I don't get to decide what is shared. I only get to decide: do I keep my promise to myself, that I will write, for 12 minutes, every week, proof read it once, and share it? So far, for almost five years, the answers has been 'yes'.

But, I know it's not true that they are all completely mediocre. I know these articles have made a difference, do make a difference, will make a difference. And, I choose to believe that they will. That, indeed, is the message of one of my absolute favourite articles from the first three years of this creative practice: the heroes are the ones who feel the resistance and do it anyway. Who trust that even if one person is changed, that is what counts. Who know, intuitively, that the doubts, the self-sabotage, the Resistance is just a part of you that is scared: it's scared that you will grow and change. And, if you make something, if you share it, then you will.

Sometimes, if you sit and make something, something that feels like magic will flow from you.

Sometimes, if you sit and make something, something really smart that resonates with others will come out.

Sometimes, if you sit and make something, you will make something a bit confusing that happens, because of its title, to get a relatively large number of clicks.

Sometimes, if you sit and make something, it will feel hard, and grotty, and painful, and unsettling.

But what, really, is the choice? To not make something? If I don't make anything, who will know I was here?

The world has so many flaws. I'm not sure we can afford for untapped creativity to just sit, waiting, inside people's minds. To be lost, almost forgotten, relics of our art. There's a lot in the world that needs to be changed if we're going to make the kind of world that we can all almost conceive of, just beyond what feels possible. And if I have - or even might have, because who really knows what will happen when I sit down to create - something that tips us towards something good, true or beautiful, isn't it my duty to share it?

And so, here I sit, again. Another week. Another 12 minutes.