Sensitivity to Trauma is an Important Part of How Our Societies Can Grow

First published on September 23, 2020

Sometimes, I remember exactly where I was when I first heard something. In this case, I was on Falcon Road, near Clapham Junction station in South West London, on my way to work. I was on the eastern side of the road, walking south towards the station when something shifted.

I was listening to Tim Ferriss interviewing design guru Debbie Millman when the conversation dropped into a new depth as Millman recounted her experience of childhood abuse. What I only learned last week was that she had never talked about that experience publicly before (let alone on a podcast with millions of listeners). In Ferriss' research ahead of the podcast he had found a phrase in her biography on the website of a charity she supports and it piqued his curiosity. When he asked her about it, she realised she had a choice: I can lie here, or I can speak about the experience. And she spoke about the experience. And I can remember exactly where I was when, thousands of miles away and much later, I heard her make that choice.

That has been in my mind this week, because Ferriss was joined again by Millman on his podcast last week. I wonder if, in several years' time, I'll remember exactly where I was when I listened to this episode. I was making breakfast. I often listen to something while I'm doing that, before stopping at the point where breakfast is ready, and reading while I eat. This time, though, I didn't stop listening.

Ferriss released an episode last week, helped and guided in the conversation by Millman, outlinining not only the terrible sexual abuse that he suffered as a boy, but also the various ways he has wrestled and worked with that trauma. It is a deeply touching and heart-opening conversation, especially if you're someone like me who has spent hundreds if not thousands of hours 'in the company' of Tim and his guests on his show. It's almost impossible, having listened to someone that much, especially someone having such natural and open conversations, not to feel like you know them, and Ferriss and Millman's conversation has been on my mind ever since.

Throughout, they outline not only the ins and outs and effects and ripples of the trauma they each suffered on their lives, but also the various ways they have coped, grown and learned through it. It is a masterfully created resource for anyone who has suffered or wants to understand the impact of childhood trauma more deeply. But it is masterfully created not by deliberation (although I'm sure Ferriss did deliberate about recording it and publishing it), but by practice: by Ferriss and Millman's years of practice at having powerful, truthful conversations, and by both's years of practice at understanding what happened to them.

Truth, in the world, sometimes feels in shortage. Powerful conversations are an incredible way to touch into it. There is a nourishing effect to them: seek them out, in your life and in resources like this. And, learn from it. Those affected by trauma are all around us: we may not know it, they may sometimes not know it (and 'they' may be 'we'), as Tim's story shows. But sensitivity to these traumas is a real and important part of how our societies grow, develop, integrate and become able to move forward.

It's somewhat strange, to write a whole article about one podcast episode. It's not what I normally do. But when I see such courage, vulnerability and honesty on show, I try to salute those things.

This was work well done, Tim.