The Imperative to Strengthen Yourself

First published on December 5, 2019

In the end, we are all alone in life. For moments every day, sometimes for whole days in a week or weeks in a month. For the unlucky ones among us, when circumstances conspire, maybe for longer.

We can't have people around us all the time. That's life. Sometimes we have to take steps by ourselves, alone or at least without the people we know near us. This is scary. The child pulled out of the womb and taken away from its mother, reborn into us in a moment of our adulthood as we have to act, in a street or a workplace or a hospital or a forest, with no one we know near us. 

These are the moments when our sense of self cements itself together. Because humans are antifragile. When you try to crack us we mostly get stronger. If we can get through this moment without shattering then we will become stronger for next time.

There is no way to escape the moments in life when you will have to, without anyone you know, face the struggles and the suffering. So there is an imperative to strengthen yourself ahead of those moments. Don't shy away from them when they show up in your life. Don't protect your children from them, thinking that if you keep them safe now that will help them later. Give them the chance to strengthen their sense of self throughout their childhood and adolescence so they are ready to face that harsh reality of the world: that we are all alone, single beings existing inside one body. 

Give yourself those chances, too. Strengthen yourself. Strengthen yourself with courage, with trust and with faith. 

With trust, for though we are all alone, a single being existing inside one body, the miracle of the modern world is the incredible network of other beings who will stand up and offer help if we ask for it. 

With faith, for though we are all alone, a single being existing in one body, we are part of something bigger. There is a force pulling us forward, if we listen. 

Some call it God. Others, more rational, might simply say it is their desire to make a difference. Or to be fulfilled. It's strange to me that almost everyone I've ever asked about fulfillment tells me a part of it is that contribution to something greater than themselves. To what? Well, that is the question of generations. 

Sometimes we are alone. Sometimes we can't be there for those we love. We have to trust that they are ready to face what comes. That they are strong and brave. That they have spent their life strengthening themselves through adversity - that all those times they wish they hadn't gone through were preparing them for this moment. Gradually growing their strength through each trial and tribulation. 

We have to trust that they have spent their life facing their fears, greater and greater. Needing courage, greater and greater, each time. Gradually increasing their confidence through ever growing acts of courage. 

And we have to help them do that. And we have to do that ourselves.