The Question I'm Going to Ask Myself Every Week in 2018. Join Me?

First published on December 21, 2017

I'm part of a group programme for coaches at the moment, run by Rich Litvin, Co-author of the brilliant book for coaches, The Prosperous Coach.

One of the powerful parts of this programme is a weekly report submitted by each member. It contains a number of questions and trackers to help the members of the programme on their coaching and leadership journeys.

Probably the question which has had the most effect on me so far is something like this:

What one thing which drains me of energy will I stop doing this week? 

Now I should know this - this is the kind of thing I say to clients regularly - but putting your attention on something has a remarkable effect. In this case, it brings the drain into your consciousness every time it happens to you or you find yourself doing it. And then, instead of following your usual downward spiral of reactions, you are able to make a choice. "Here I am doing this thing again. Was I just paying lip service in my weekly report, or do I really mean it? Am I going to allow this thing to drain my energy, or am I going to find a different way to deal with it?"

Here are some of the answers I have given so far: avoiding opening emails from prospective clients about whether they want to work with me out of fear of the No; Get dragged into areas of capability and urgency, at the expense of the magic and most important; worrying. 

This week my answer is: worrying about money but doing nothing to raise my awareness or consciousness of my actual financial position. 

And here's what's happened. Already, hours after writing it, I've put in place a further plan to, in the long term, take action on this more and more. It just came to me as I walked to the train. How useful. 

And, at this time of year, when we're all thinking about how we might work on ourselves over the next year, to change our life for the better, to make ourselves and our loved ones even happier, I want to offer this frame to you.

I like it because it doesn't hold the overwhelm of a resolution like 'learn to swim' or 'get a new job' or even 'be happier'; and because I don't need to (fail to) remember it over a long period, which even taking a 'theme' for the year. These may work for you, but they don't really for me.

And I like it because it feeds the theme of the journey I've been on, of continuing to choose a better path for myself and others, each and every day. 

It's gentle, and it's effective. Each week, make a choice and a commitment. You may not have a group which you've paid a lot of money to be part of (that's what it took for me to get I to this practice), but anyone can use the apps Randomly Remind Me or Mind Jogger, or set a weekly reminder on Google calendar.

My commitment for 2018 is that every week, even after the work with Rich is over, I will ask myself 'What one thing which drains me of energy will I stop doing this week?'.

Join me?