Why Do We Keep Asking the Question, 'What Next?'

First published on May 27, 2018

When I first wrote these pieces, it was an exercise in how to overcome the incredible Resistance I was feeling to sharing anything online, an almost physical pain and nervousness. Now, 18 months after the first five came out in a two-week period, I have written another almost every week, and it feels quite different. Now, they come out of me without that physical sensation, and pressing 'share' is easy.

Here is evidence that confidence is a result of action, not a requirement to take it.

And then, I notice, I am interested in what is the next step? Is it longer pieces, or perhaps writing on what feels like more controversial topics? This one, about Responsibility being more important than Rights, and the sacred masculine and the sacred feminine, was definitely harder to publish. Or is it something which my skills further - more criticism and feedback from people to support me developing my writing skills, perhaps. I'm playing with that at the moment, behind the scenes, with a longer writing project I've had on the go for the last 18 months or so.

And then, perhaps because I think too much, the next question comes: why does there need to be a next step?

And that is a good question. On the Tim Ferriss Show, master designer Debbie Millman and Tim joke about how the kind of success they have experienced is derived in part due to the struggles and challenges they went through. Millman in particular talks incredibly touchingly about the trauma she suffered as a girl. 'Perhaps,' she muses, 'most of the people who don't achieve these kind of things don't achieve them because they're happy, well-rounded people who don't need their success to make up for their childhood struggles'.

And that may be part of it. We are driven on by the stories we were told - implicitly or explicitly - as a child.

But as I sit here, reflecting on the practice that led to this piece of writing, what I remember is that this practice has been so valuable to me as an individual. Leaning into that place of pain and fear, with the help of my coach, led to this practice. A desire to share more, to let myself out into the world. And that has undoubtedly been good for me: for my confidence, for my anxious side, for my understanding of myself and the world and - yes - for my business.

Which brings us back to the old favourite. The font of wisdom that is Steven Pressfield's, The War of Art. In that, Pressfield says (something like - no time to look it up in a 12 minute piece): The things to which we we feel the greatest Resistance are also the things which are most important to our soul's evolution.

And this, I suspect, is the answer for those of us like Debbie, and for those of us who don't have that kind of success-drive but still keep stretching ourselves, keep asking 'What next?'. We are driven to develop and grow and learn by evolution. And for the good of us, and our souls, we should take the step.