Now Is The Time To Focus On Stability And Order

First published on March 18, 2020

In the past few years, two of the most interesting and broad-ranging thinkers that I know have brought into my awareness the dance between two eternal constants: stability and novelty, order and chaos.

First, from Ken Wilber, I heard (via my dad - the way I hear so many of the ideas Wilber shares) this frame of looking at the world: that everything, on every level, contains a combination of stability and novelty. From the smallest molecule (which is held together, but contains the chance to come apart), to the paperweight on your desk (which though it may look incredibly stable, will in the end turn to dust if left long enough), to the evolution of species, to the companies we work in, to every element of our self and our life. We need to look, then, at when stability and novelty are needed, when we need a sprinkling more or less of one or the other.

Then, Jordan Peterson, in his book, 12 Rules For Life: An Antidote to Chaos, an incredible download of his decades as a clinical psychologist and his research (and first book) into the maps we need to make meaning of the world. Peterson talks about the same eternal constants, but he uses the words order and chaos in place of stability and novelty.

And now here we are. In the midst of complete chaos. Some of us might have thought we were bored in our lives, but even then the sudden flood of novelty is too much. It brings to mind that old, Chinese curse: may you live in interesting times.

At times like these, when the advice changes day to day, when the impacts and implications of coronavirus change and shift and occur to us anew each day, I have found it impossible not to feel the unsettling nature of the chaos, the novelty in the world. There is simply a flood of unknowns out there, so much of what we take for granted as stable suddently seems uncertain (whether this is true or not, it's certainly how it seems): from whether food will be available in a week, to how many people will die, to what the government should be doing, to what will happen to our livelihoods, our work, our loved ones' livelihoods and work.

So much novelty. So much chaos.

And so I put it to you: now might be the time to put your focus on stability and order. To find those things where you can, to create them where you can and to acknowledge them, where you can.

Find them where you can: There's an old zen saying, sometimes attributed to the Dalai Lama: 'I meditate for an hour a day, except when I'm busy. Then I meditate for two hours a day.' Now is the time, as that saying implies, to double down on the stability we know supports us. In times of trouble, as I discussed with a friend struggling with stress in his job a few weeks ago, it's strange how we let slip all the things that might help us, making things worse. When we are depressed or stressed, we stop exercising and seeing the people we care about, even though those things help us survive, and their absence hinders us. We need to be resilient, and we need stability in our lives. Find it, where you can, and don't let it slip.

Create them where you can: I've been thinking about this: what extra stability is possible now? Can my wife and I, suddenly working at home together, find new daily practices or traditions to support ourselves and each other? Communities I am part of are offering calls and ways to connect at this time: how might that form part of something more regular? There is a drive among many to be more connected to the people around us, how might we create some stability that way?

Acknowledge them where you can: In a discussion on one such call, as part of Seth Godin's Akimbo community, my new friend Kathleen and I discussed this. She noticed that, despite everything, she still has to wash up. There was something strangely comforting in that thought. Noticing and acknowledge these times, these things that - despite everything - are the same, are stable. You take the bins out. You shower. You wash up. You have breakfast, lunch and dinner. You drink coffee. Take a moment, each time, to acknowledge the stability. To focus on that. Then, when the novelty arrives, you will be more ready for it.