The States, Stages and Animal Aspects of Life
First published on February 19, 2020
Life follows strange patterns. It is not linear. It is, perhaps, a spiral. But not a regular spiral, an irregular one, moving at different speeds in different ways at different times. Perhaps, a spiral. Perhaps, following some pattern towards some end, some point. Tending to that point, but probably never arriving there.
This means that once you are past something you aren't really past it. You have just passed it for now. That pattern, that way of being, that experience that you think is over forever is probably not over forever. It will probably come back one day. That's life.
And yet there are states and stages we move through. I've written about some of the states before. There are times when we respond effortlessly and skilfully and instinctively. There are times when we scheme and hustle and force. There are times when we simply react, pressed on by the world.
We might find that the first two are more useful at times, but that doesn't mean we will never find ourself in that third state, a victim of the world with life happening to us. Life follows strange patterns.
The stages are interesting, too: developing greater perspective, seeing the world from different angles. Early on, perhaps, responding simply to how to be a 'good person' according to definitons written by our family and society. Then realising that these definitions are imperfect, and in the modern world, we can't be all the 'goods' at the same time: we can't be a good mother and a good employee and a good daughter and a good wife and a good citizen and a good member of the netball team and a good cyclist and a good member of the choir all at once. Then, we have to write our own definition of what 'good' is. Thirdly, we may come to realise that all perspectives have values at different times, that there are flaws in my definition of good, just like there are flaws in your definiton of good. Perhaps, by comparing these, we can create something even more complete. But it will still be incomplete, it will still be flawed, because we are human.
These stages, at least according to academics like Robert Kegan are things we move through. But even then they are not linear. Even then we may find ourselves responding from an earlier stage sometimes.
Even then it is a messy spiral of development.
And within all that, of course, we are human. An ancient animal, trapped out of time. Pulled by evolutionary instincts as well as childhood patterns. We are not so different to the chimpanzee or the lobster.
And so we find ourselves playing out the patterns we share with these creatures, feeling feelings even when we can rationalise them away as unnecessary, responding swiftly or cruelly or clumsily to the stimulus of the world.
Acting out these states and stages and ancient animal aspects, we search for the divine. We search to be the perfect creature, the image of God. We strive to reach the top of that spiral, whether it exists or not.
We play these games of life, all so important in the moment, almost all forgotten in days, weeks or years.
We work our way through the spiral. Twisting and turning through the strange patterns. Hoping, hoping, hoping that one day we will reach the point, hoping hoping hoping the point exists. Hoping life will get easier. Hoping that there will be a neat ending, a time when the strange patterns, the irregular spiral is finished.