Facing Resistance 251 times.

251.

Two hundred and fifty-one times.

Two hundred and fifty-one times the timer. First, a train. Not the romantic steam train, but the functional, commuter train, carrying the life-blood of London along one of its veins and into the heart of the city.

Then, often a timer. A phone. Occasionally a little cooking clock. Today, for the first time I think, a Fitbit.

Sometimes, occasionally, the train again. Bringing back the nostalgic feeling of long ago. Nearly six years ago. But, in the arc of my life, longer.

Because not all time is equal.

Some time is business as usual. Some is the chaos of kairos, where transformation and change can happen faster than it should be able to.

And sometimes, by chance, a human might create a moment of kairos every week. A practice, if you like, which allows time to not be equal. Something which they do, week after week, which creates transformation and change far faster than it should be able to.

That's not where we started, Joel and I, in August 2016. We started with something like this: let's create an experiment about sharing yourself with the world. And how about it's about the train journey you like. And how about it's a series.

But that's where we got to. 251 times sitting and - sometimes consciously, sometimes not - asking the question: what wants to be written today? Sometimes by me, sometimes through me. Occasionally to me, probably, too.

251 times - more, actually, and definitely 252 - asking the question and opening to what wants to be written today. Gradually developing the trust that something will emerge. That that something will matter. That I will survive its emerging. In fact, I won't. Like every moment of transformation, the person that enters does not leave it. The person who enters will never be seen again. Because a new person emerges, transformed by the process into something new, transcending and including the person who enters. But different, for sure.

I did want to write. But mostly I wanted to be someone who could share something with the world without feeling that anxious about it. And I wanted to face down the place where I felt the greatest Resistance. Because that, as Pressfield would say, is the place that is most important for our soul's evolution.

I didn't know that was true at the start. But I suspected. I had a feeling as I read the War of Art that Pressfield was right. It helped when Liz Gilbert said similar things with her own flavour. And others, too. But mostly I just had the sense that he was probably right.

But I didn't know.

251 times later, I know. I set out to face Resistance and fear, and my soul grew beyond measure.

My writing is different, my thinking is different, my speaking is different. I became what I wanted to become: someone who can share things on the internet without the anxiety, without the fear and adrenaline as my finger hovers above the post button. (Well, mostly.)

But more than that. I ended up practising what I only years later realised I needed. I practised trust. I practised letting life happen through me. In essence, I practised prayer. I practised my Zone of Genius. I practised showing up and not giving up. I practised trying to do great work and - sometimes - managing it.

And it didn't end there. It didn't end with 251 articles. It became books. It became interviews and talks. It became community and podcasts and facebook groups and coaching clients. It became other articles. It became a part of who I am.

Two hundred and fifty one times the timer. Two hundred and fifty one times, 'It might not work'. Two hundred and fifty times, sharing it. (Well, two hundred and fifty-one by the time you read this.)

Life is just a series of moments. A series of choices.

It turned out, I didn't need to practise very much. Just once a week, for all this. Just once a week, for 12-minutes or - when I got on a train at platform 7 - less.

Just once a week, and the choice to face the greatest Resistance with a companion to help me.

Just once a week, and the courage to step into the place that is most important for my soul's evolution.

Just once a week, two hundred and fifty-one times.

—

This is the latest in a series of articles written using the 12-Minute Method: write for twelve minutes, proof read once with tiny edits and then post online. 

The first 12-Minute Method Book - How to Start When You're Stuck - is out now!
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