If we want our story to make sense to others, we have to be true to who we are and who we want to be.

At moments of transition, it seems to make all the sense in the world to worry about whether the transition will make sense to others.

Even looking forward - as one of my clients was recently - it can feel really important to slow down and think about the future: to make sure that the decisions we make will make sense to others.

Here's the thing though: the changes we make in our lives always make sense, because we make them. There's always a coherent story, because there's the true story.

It doesn't always feel like that in the moment, or looking forward, but there's a reason Steve Jobs' Stanford commencement speech is famous: it's because he spoke to something deep and true. Trying to predict our lives going forward is almost impossible. But looking back, if we slow down enough and look closely enough, the transitions and changes always make sense. Because they are the things that we did.

In a world where 'certainty', 'planning' and 'strategy' are so highly prized, this doesn't feel very satisfactory. But mostly in the complexity of the world, planning, strategy and certainty are all overrated. Agility and experimentation are probably undervalued. Having a set of principles which help you in each moment is probably undervalued.

One of the principles that can make a difference as we look at our transitions and personal journeys - but this holds for organisations too - is authenticity. Of course, it's a hugely overused word, and what do we really mean anyway? But I think here, if we are careful, it is a principle which can serve as a valuable guide to who we are, who we were and who we want to be.

If we want our story to be coherent, for us as much as for others, then one surefire way to head for that is to be honest and make our decisions based on the most we know about ourselves at that time. The energy lost trying to be something we're not, trying to do things that aren't our strengths or our zone of genius, is not only a waste. It also makes it more likely that a decision we make looks strange from the outside later.

The truth is that we have a strong sense of identity formed as a young person. The values that matter to me, the strengths that make me good at what I do, were mostly present in some way as a child and adolescent. Even when they have shifted, the shifts mostly haven't been dramatic, and make sense looking back. They have, of course, been an evolution, one day at a time (with some notable moments of kairos where shifts were bigger).

Nicole Brigandi and I articulated this truth for the first time (for me) when we were asked to create a session for a leading university on Mastering Your Personal Brand. When we delved into what it took to create a strong brand - with branding essentially being a shortcut and way to trust - we realised that the coherence, over time, could only come from authenticity. Becuase humans change one day at a time, it's ok for brands to change one day at a time.

Only when we who have been ignoring who we are and then reveal it will the story take more time for people to adjust to, will it look strange from the outside.

And don't forget that contained in who we are is who we want to be. In his book Enabling Genius, Myles Downey makes an - in my view - on point attack on the phrase 'my best self', pointing out that that leaves open space for us to doubt if our best self is capable of something, when in reality more genius is always available to us.

Your best self is yet to come. It is unfolding, as is your life.

Let it unfold. Honestly and with skill.

Tell the truth about the changes and they will be coherent. Because they are. Because they are decisions you - a real, living, coherent person - made. And the more you know yourself and understand your decisions, the more you will be able to communicate that coherence to others.

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This is the latest in a series of articles written using the 12-Minute Method: write for twelve minutes, proof read once with tiny edits and then post online. 

The first 12-Minute Method Book - How to Start When You're Stuck - is out now!