We Are the Sum of our Experiences

First published on March 17, 2017

This weekend I am returning to the beautiful corner of northern England where I grew up. I know what it'll be like, the feeling of seeing the familiar train stations, and then faces, and then stepping back into the old Yorkshire house where I grew up. At some point in my stay, probably looking out across the valley of green fields to the moors in the distance, surrounded by familiar smells and sounds, and people, I'll sigh. There will be a release. Home. 

I'll also be seeing some of my oldest friends. This is a different experience to any other group I have. I've known these people for more than a decade, two decades in some cases. We'll do those things that groups of men have done together across millennia. We'll compete with each other, we'll talk about other men competing with each other. We'll use nicknames that are as old as our friendships. And we'll laugh, a lot. These people are home, too. 

We are the sum of our experiences. And the experiences of our ancestors, over thousands of years. They are a part of us. And being in the presence of those things which are a particularly big part of us: the people, the places, the singers, the songs. And the rest, of course. Being in the presence of those things is a relief. It is affirming. It is strengthening. It is joyful. Because it is who we are. 

Take some time today. Remember those people, those places, those singers and songs. Take a moment to acknowledge how they formed you, for better and for worse. Because you can't take them back. You can't do away with them. That doesn't mean they rule you, or there won't be other things, which match them for significance across the length of your life. But let them in a little, today. Let yourself in. These things. They are who you are.